Krista Boryskavich's (somewhat) Daily Rants

In the Event Anyone Still Drops By Here Occasionally....

2008-09-07T11:56:00.004-05:00

I'm having a debate with a friend, and we need to know what others think. I recently watched the movie "Annie Hall"...and wasn't crazy about it (which in and of itself is some kind of sacrilege, apparently).

Why did I dislike the movie? Well, I found the title character appalling. She made me want to turn off the DVD player, take the DVD out, and burn it.

Annie Hall is the type of woman who makes other women look bad. She's a flake who takes advantage of men and treats them horribly (case in point, the spider scene - Keaton character had quite unceremoniously and cold-heartedly broken up with Allen character, then she has the nerve to call him at two in the morning and demand that he come over to her place and kill a spider, and yells at him when he doesn't do it properly....whaaaa??), then attempts to convey that she is the real victim in the relationship.

My friend, however, thought Annie was dynamite (well, la-di-dah, la-di-dah, la-di-dah) and was amazed that I got that impression from the film.

Am I totally off-base here, or do others share my view that there's just a little something "off" about Annie Hall?

So much...

2007-10-27T16:57:00.000-05:00

....running through my mind these days. How can a person be busy with activities they enjoy, and surrounded by family / friends who love them, but still be unsure about virtually everything in life?

So, when I need to think, I retreat into my little world, listen to music (downloaded some great stuff for the Ipod, including "Let My Love Open the Door", which also makes me really want to go see the new Steve Carrell movie), watch some movies (I heart Movie Village, and I've seen some really good flicks in the past couple of weeks - Lord of War, The Manchurian Candidate, Marathon Man), watch some television (I've recently discovered Big Love, and while I'm definitely the jealous type and could never be involved in a polygamous relationship myself, I do love the show - Jeanne Tripplehorn rocks!).

One of the things I've been pondering of late is that - at this stage in my life (ie. single) - if I do want to think about purchasing property in Winnipeg, I may start looking at some condos in the downtown. A co-worker of mine has this amazing loft in the Exchange (stone walls, hardwood floors, high ceilings - all in all, an amazing space). Question is....do I want to make the commitment of purchasing property right now?? My first instinct is no. What's holding me back? I guess I always thought when I finally took out a mortgage, I'd be doing it with a husband / boyfriend....but I'm 32, still single, and have realized lately that's likely how I'm destined to live out the rest of my life. So, no reason to procrastinate any longer, right?

Sinful Pleasures

2007-10-14T15:02:00.001-05:00

(1) A friend and I went to the "Sex and the District" event on Friday night in the Exchange District. Stores were open late (clothing and jewellery heaven!), serving drinks and appetizers as you shopped, DJ's were playing music, bars were open early serving cocktails and sushi, fashion shows were on the runway - all in all, a really fun cool event! I hadn't realized how many funky little boutiques have opened up in the Exchange lately (now I know what I'll be doing during my lunch hour from here on out!) - it really is turning into Winnipeg's own little Greenwich Village! A great event for many reasons, not the least of which is that it brought people into the area at night - hopefully, this will become a more frequent regular event.

(2) I've sworn off cheesecake. For anyone who knows me, that should come as a major shock. Well, I've sworn off almost all cheesecake. I need to lose a few pounds, so cutting down on "junk food" is a good way to start. But when I was in New York City a couple of weeks ago, I tasted the most delicious cheesecake on the planet at Roxy's Deli in Times Square - AMAZING!!!! So I've decided that (since it's not readily available) cheesecake from Roxy's isn't included in the ban. Now, however, I'm really craving it. And they ship orders. But only within the US. Anybody got any bright ideas for getting a little NYC treat up to Winnipeg without too much trouble???

You're Still Out There?!?

2007-10-04T18:55:00.000-05:00

Really? Some people still read this thing? Wow, guess I'd better start writing again!! Okay, so...an update....

(1) No longer writing for the Sun, stopped in April. Just didn't feel right anymore, for various reasons. I am, however, working on my first novel, so stay tuned in the not-so-near future for that! I'll likely start to explore other writing options at some point in the not-so-distant future also, any suggestions as to where you'd like to see me in print?

(2) I've stepped back into my introverted ways over the past couple of months, been a long year with a lot of occurrences I didn't anticipate (or at least, in some cases, didn't anticipate the stresses involved in the occurrences), including a couple of job changes and a relationship break-up over the summer. Don't want to talk about it, but yes, I am single again.

(3) I'm trying a couple of new activities this fall (figured I needed something to do other than tv nights with the cat - LOL) including joining a trivia team and a dodgeball league. Not sure yet whether I'll continue to pursue my pseudo-acting career in the MBA annual play. I've decided only to pursue activities I'm genuinely interested in, as I've realized I've lived a lot of my life doing the things I think I'm supposed to do, not the things I really want to do.

And if you're out there reading this, tell your friends I'm back, and post a comment to say hi! Don't want to be writing to dead air!

Family

2007-06-30T20:57:00.000-05:00

(1) It's neat to realize that the one person in my family who truly understands me is my 88 year old grandmother. I feel that we have some sort of kindred spirit, or deep connection that I don't have with any other family member (she's an extremely intelligent person with a great sense of humour, and I love the time we spend together). And it's nice to finally be mature enough to realize how cool that is.

(2) It's also neat (while at times disturbing) to realize that the younger sister I always thought of as 'the little kid' has her life more together than I do. And will definitely have a baby before me (if I have a baby at all), and will likely get married before me (if I get married at all). And will, no matter how much pregnancy weight she gains, still always be the skinny one. And even though that leaves me eternally as the chubby sister, I'm really proud of her and very happy for all the blessings that are coming her way.

(3) It's important to travel and experience life with one's parents before they're too old to enjoy it. My dad and I are going to a dude ranch in British Columbia this summer, and my mom and I are going to New York City in the fall. I'm very excited about both trips (and not just because it means I get to take holidays).

The Great Part About Opposites Attracting

2007-06-27T19:09:00.000-05:00

My boyfriend and I are very similar in a lot of fundamental ways (which makes for a good base to build a relationship). However, we have many different interests, and that's a good thing. In fact, the more we get to know each other, the more excited I get about some of the new things he has exposed me to.

Comic books, for instance. When I was a kid, I read Archie comics...but I was more into baseball and hockey cards. But I'm getting a second chance thanks to my boyfriend, a real comic book fan. He's schooled me in the history of the artists and some of his favourite strips, and I've even started a small collection of my own - Incredible Hulk, Human Torch, Ghost Rider (the oldies, of course).

I've also been very lucky because one of my very oldest and dearest friends (we have baby pictures together, that's how far we go back) has a father who is a collector. In fact, ever since I've know him, his comics have been his livelihood. So I've purchased some books from him, and hit many of the shops around Winnipeg (Comics America, Galaxy Comics, Cover to Cover, etc.).

But of course, I'm always looking for new sources. So...if anyone else out there is an avid fan, and has any tips, that's what the comments section is for!

Even Old TV Comes Back In Style Eventually

2007-06-13T23:10:00.000-05:00

My boyfriend and I have been renting DVDs of old tv series lately - The Saint, Twin Peaks, Hill Street Blues, etc. - and we've discovered some striking similarities between tv of old and tv of today. For instance:

(1) Hawaii Five-O's Steve McGarrett = CSI Miami's Horatio Caine...no explanation needed, just watch the two in action (it's like they were separated at birth)

(2) Ironside's Ironside = The Office's Dwight Schrute...one says 'query', the other says 'question'...tomato, tomato... (it's too much of a coincidence to be an actual coincidence, right? methinks this bit was ripped off).

Any other examples you can think of?

I'm Back...

2007-06-03T13:37:00.000-05:00

...and am sorry I've been away for so long...had to delete the comments re: politics, as this site is not meant for political debate...sorry. Check out Hacks and Wonks, or Comments Closed, instead.

So, topic of discussion for today = Celine Dion: national treasure, or national embarrassment?

Today after Coronation Street, I watched a little of CBC News Sunday where Evan Solomon was doing an interview with Dion. I'll admit to not being a fan of her music or her diva-dom, and the vast majority of the interview (where she more often than not completely butchered the English language) was painful - but one of her quotes actually made me laugh aloud, so of course, I must share. I paraphrase only a little here: in the context of her rich and famous lifestyle, "I am proud that I have managed to stay insane". Yes, INsane. I kid you not. Freudian slip? You tell me...

The World of the Written Word

2007-05-14T20:54:00.000-05:00

Someone commented that I should "stop blogging...now". Which made me realize that for all intents and purposes these days, I virtually have stopped blogging. Also stopped writing the column for awhile. The spirit just isn't moving me at the moment. Truth be told, sometimes one has to move away from commenting on life to actually living it.

In any event, I hope to return to this page more regularly with engaging content. In the interim, discuss amongst yourselves - Facebook: harmless networking community, or website full o' trouble?

Celebrity Lookalikes

2007-05-06T20:43:00.000-05:00

Has anyone else noticed the brunette Cameron Diaz double in the Manitoba Nurses Union commercial? The resemblance is striking...

It Takes a Village

2007-04-19T17:43:00.003-05:00

Today's offering:
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Hillary Clinton once said it takes a village to raise a child.

But if today's generation of youth is any indication of the level of parenting skills possessed by the proverbial village, it may be time to think about moving.

A recent Vanier Institute for the Family study concluded that there are more problem children today than there were 50 years ago, and society at large is to blame.

According to study author Anne-Marie Ambert, a former professor of sociology at York University, it is the laissez-faire "enabling environment" running rampant in today's society that encourages problem children to misbehave.

In other words, busy (or lazy) parents are offloading their parental responsibilities to teachers, neighbours, television sets and computers, leaving their children without a consistent parental role model.

And the human parental fill-ins who have an opportunity to introduce order and discipline into the lives of misbehaving children have instead adopted a non-interventionist "not my problem" approach, sometimes with disastrous results.

Newspaper headlines and television newscasts abound with stories of troubled youths taking part in disruptive behaviour such as fighting and bullying, or committing criminal acts such as theft and vandalism.

And Internet networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace have provided a new forum for young people to misbehave, knowing that the nature of the Internet makes immediate consequences for their actions next to impossible.

Online survey results released this week by Kids Help Phone found that 70% of teenage respondents have been the victim of on-line bullying, while 44% said that they had been Internet bullies.

"Socially, they really aren't sure how to behave and interact in the cyber-world," said Kids Help Phone spokesperson Donna Hansplant. "There are no generations before them that they could learn from, and kids learn from modeling."

But where does the responsibility lie for ensuring that today's youth are mentored in the areas of appropriate behaviour, knowing right from wrong, and making good choices? With the community, or with that child's parents?

"Because parents are spending less and less time with their kids because both parents are working for economic reasons, and because the hold parents have on kids is less and less, it's a struggle to be the people who determine the identity of your child," said forensic psychologist Marta Weber, who has studied the effects of parental influence on children.

"What happens in school and in the mall and on the street becomes more and more important. So the variables are more and the relative impact of parents is smaller."

It certainly isn't easy to be a parent these days. But with the decision to procreate comes a lifelong commitment to the children one is bringing into this world. That commitment should not be taken lightly.

While society has a supporting role to play in ensuring its youth grow up to be productive citizens, the ultimate responsibility for raising a child falls squarely on the shoulders of the parents.

And it's a cop-out to suggest otherwise.

Discuss Amongst Yourselves

2007-04-14T12:18:00.000-05:00

"...it's a great pity the right to free speech and freedom of the press isn't based on the obligation to say something goddamn meaningful." - from The Secret Life of E. Robert Pendleton, by Michael Collins

Nintendo, anyone?

2007-04-12T19:10:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm so out of touch with new technology it's ridiculous (I only bought an iPod a couple of weeks ago, and am still trying to figure out how to use it!). But when I was a kid, I loved playing video games...first, it was Atari...then Nintendo...then X-Box...if I was to go out and buy some electronic equipment for playing games on today, what would I buy? Any recommendations, anyone??

Dr. Phil (part II)

2007-04-12T18:00:00.000-05:00

Interesting. What was a short throw-away post generated more comments than I've gotten in awhile! So I wanted to clarify my position / open things up for discussion. The Hack raised an interesting point re: traditional gender roles, when he stated in the comments section:

There seems to be an implication that unless a woman branches out from her husband's orbit, she cannot truly be a successful 21st century woman. At the very least, that she is not achieving her full potential so long as she comes out to watch every day.

I was approaching the issue more from the knowledge (reinforced even more so this year when my boyfriend and I moved in together) that separate identities, separate interests, adequate time alone, etc., are all necessary components of a healthy relationship. While I don't believe there is anything wrong with overlapping orbits (for instance, my boyfriend and I are both writers) and supporting each other's individual achievements within those orbits, I do find it odd that Dr. Phil's wife goes to work with him every day....just me....

Anyhow, I'm curious to get others' take on the Hack's statement. Your thoughts?

Dr. Phil

2007-04-11T21:40:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else find it odd that Dr. Phil's wife Robin attends every taping of the Dr. Phil show? Does Robin not have an identity and a life of her own?

Three Thoughts for the Day

2007-04-06T14:17:00.000-05:00

(1) Do any of my Winnipeg readers know whether the Grand Palace Chinese Restaurant on Grant Avenue is permanently closed, or whether it's just relocated elsewhere? I love their food (especially their Cantonese chow mein) and would hate to think they're gone for good!

(2) Everyone makes mistakes. And while usually you can work through them, fix them, be forgiven for them, there are some mistakes that you will be punished for your entire life. That's the sad reality.

(3) I am glad to have a four day weekend. And pledge to stand by the "no meat on Good Friday" mantra. For dinner? Tilapia, rice and green beans. Mmmmm....yummy....Happy Easter, everyone!

You're Getting a Scoop

2007-04-03T08:06:00.000-05:00

For some reason, this hasn't made it onto the Sun's website yet today...
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I’d hate to be a pet owner in the United States these days.

In addition to the extensive pet food recall taking place across North America , legal experts are now saying that American pet owners whose pets have died as a result of eating the contaminated food will have a difficult time obtaining substantial compensation for their loss.

Shocking, really, in a country where litigation is as commonplace as breathing, and financial recovery can be as lucrative as winning the lottery.

For instance, in a controversial decision that made international headlines in the mid-90’s, a New Mexico jury awarded Stella Liebeck $200,000 in compensatory damages and $2.7 million in punitive damages after she spilled hot McDonald’s coffee in her lap and suffered third degree burns.

While the punitive damages were later reduced to $480,000 by the trial judge, Leibeck’s case clearly illustrates that under the right circumstances, American courts aren’t averse to awarding high compensation.

But multi-million dollar awards for pet owners appear highly unlikely. Not only are cats and dogs not human beings, courts may not even take their status as living creatures into account.

While the concept of women as chattels was eradicated in North America decades ago, many US state laws still classify pets as personal property – no different than a car, a television set, or a pair of shoes.

As a result, “with animals, all [a pet owner gets] is the value of the property,” said Carl Tobias, law professor at the University of Richmond . “There are no emotional damages [awarded].”

Value of the property, huh? How do you place a price tag on a family member or a best friend?

In 1996, I paid $50 for the privilege of bringing my cat, Sam, home to live with me. And while I don’t know how much I’ve spent over the past decade or so in vet bills, pet food and toys, I could likely ballpark it.

But Sam’s true value could never be determined solely by the amount of money I initially paid to become his owner, or the monies expended over the years to ensure his wellbeing.

The intangibles he brings to my life every day are not only worth more than $50 plus incidentals, they’re nearly impossibly to quantify in monetary terms.

What dollar figure do you attribute to a morning wake-up call in the form of an energetic facewash from a little pink tongue?

What dollar figure do you attribute to the joy of seeing your pet’s excited little face beaming at you when you walk in the door after a long day at work?

What dollar figure do you attribute to a loving cuddle from a pal who can always sense when you’re sad, under the weather or just plain in need of a hug?

A pet may not be a human being, but it is a living creature – unique, full of personality, irreplaceable. In my lifetime, I may have another cat, but I’ll never have another Sam.

The pet owners whose animals died after eating contaminated food are mourning the loss of their furry friends, and despairing over the knowledge that their loss didn’t have to occur so soon.

All they are looking for is acknowledgment that their pets’ lives mattered. Comparing their furry friends to a pair of Nikes or a Honda Civic is rubbing salt in their open wound.

Deep Thoughts

2007-03-27T07:19:00.000-05:00

Your thoughts?
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If a person's actions cause good things to happen for their fellow human beings, do that person's underlying motives matter?

One person I posed this question to responded that if you're George W. Bush, and your actions are invading Iraq, the answer is yes.

But what if you're Japanese billionaire Genshiro Kawamoto, and your actions are allowing low-income and homeless Hawaiian families to live rent-free in eight of your 22 mansions in Hawaii's ritzy Kahala district?

In addition to the rent-free accommodations, which families may live in for up to 10 years, Kawamoto gave each family 10 $100 bills to assist with moving expenses.

The families themselves, many of them single, working mothers with multiple children, are overjoyed by Kawamoto's generosity. For them, merely to have a home at all is something to be grateful for. And to receive the use of a multi-million-dollar mansion is nothing short of a miracle.

"We prayed so hard and cried so much for God to drop something from the skies," said school clerk and single mother of five Lyn Worley, whose family was one of the recipients of Kawamoto's generous offer, "and He did, He really, really, did."

But some neighbours who also own multi-million-dollar homes along Kahala Avenue are less than thrilled with the new kids on the block, and are quick to discredit Kawamoto's motives for moving them in.

Kawamoto's past real estate dealings have given him the reputation of not being such a nice guy. In at least two instances, Kawamoto served 30-day eviction notices to tenants in his California and Hawaii properties, trying to get residents out fast in order to flip the properties for profit.

And suspicions abound amongst Kawamoto's neighbours that his latest scheme is merely an effort to drive down property values so Kawamoto can pick up some more cheap digs for future resale.

"Everyone's paying homage to him, but in reality, he's the problem," Kahala Avenue resident Mark Blackburn said.

But is it Kawamoto and his alleged financial ulterior motives that are the problem? Or is it folks like Blackburn and their veiled prejudices against their new lower-class neighbours that are the real issue?

Poverty in and of itself has never made anyone a bad person. Worley and the other families moving into Kawamoto's mansions may not be multi-millionaires, but that doesn't automatically make them less desirable than the existing residents.

Blackburn and his buddies should look beyond bank account balances and at least get to know the newcomers and their families as human beings before passing judgment on them.

If they were feeling especially generous, they could even attempt to make the newcomers feel as welcome as possible in a world that is entirely foreign to everything families like the Worleys have previously been exposed to.

But if the existing residents choose instead to leave the neighbourhood now that Kawamoto has "let the riff-raff in," it says much more about their own inexcusable prejudices than it does about Kawamoto's penchant for profits.

And if Kawamoto does make a few bucks from his generosity, I'm willing to chalk it up as the cost of doing a good deed for some human beings who truly deserve a break in life.

I'm sure Lyn Worley would agree.

Cartoons

2007-03-24T11:55:00.000-05:00

I go through phases, and right now, I'm going through a cartoon-watching phase. Not the airy fairy cartoons they produce for kids these days. The cartoons from my childhood. The ones that were far too intelligent for me to completely understand when I was a kid (because, come on, I don't care how smart they are - no kid would be able to completely understand all the subtle nuances in Bugs Bunny humour), but are absolutely brilliant as I watch them as an adult. I am enjoying them so much, in fact, that I may even hit Amazon and order a few DVDs...my favourites:

(1) Looney Tunes
(2) Scooby Doo
(3) Flintstones
(4) Popeye
(5) Smurfs

Yours?

I Am Now a Redhead!

2007-03-21T20:38:00.000-05:00

Will post pics soon!

I Love Dwight K. Schrute

2007-03-18T18:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, love might be too strong a word. Yes, definitely too strong a word. But Dwight K. Schrute is the prime reason I watch The Office. I'm a fan. For sure.

For your reading pleasure, some infamous Dwight K. Schrute quotes:
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"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think 'would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I do not do that thing."

"There’s nothing on my horizon except everything. Everything is on my horizon."

" How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer…merciless…insatiable…"

"I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me."

"One of my life goals was to die right here in this desk chair. And today that dream was shattered."

"Here’s my card. It’s got my cell number, my pager number, my home number and my other pager number. I never take vacations, I never get sick and I don’t celebrate any major holidays."

"I never let anyone walk behind me, 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear."

"I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German or some kind of halfsie. I do not like criminals."

"I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther."

And the coups de grace:

Michael: "Guys - meat, it’s what’s for dinner. Who wants some man meat?"
Dwight: "I want some man meat!"
Jim: "Dwight wants your man meat."
Michael: "Well then, my man meat he shall have."

Dwight: "Just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you.
Ryan: "I don't think you know what you're saying..."

So, Nobody's Going to Call Me On It?

2007-03-15T21:14:00.001-05:00

This week's and last week's columns, I mean. Really? Nobody?

Bringing Sexy Back

2007-03-15T07:28:00.000-05:00

Today's offering (and the feature column on the Canoe website today!!)...thoughts?
_____________________________________________________________
Don't want the pitter patter of little feet disrupting your fulfilling adult lifestyle?

Just follow the lead of the Japanese and stop having sex.

According to a recent survey conducted by the Japan Family Planning Association, nearly 40% of Japanese aged 16 to 49 reported they hadn't had sex in over a month.

Nothing unusual for most married couples (or so I hear).

But in a country where the average birthrate fell in 2005 to 1.26 births per woman, high celibacy rates are certainly a concern for Japan's family planning policy wonks.

"This is very bad news for the country's birthrate," said Dr. Kunio Kitamura, the Family Planning Association's director, "and something the government needs to look into urgently."

Especially since, as Kitamura's research concluded, "if you don't have sex for a month, you probably won't for a year."

You married folks paying attention yet?

Low birthrates are quickly becoming a major issue in nations across the globe. Here at home, census numbers released this week show that Canada's birthrate has declined to an average of only 1.5 births per woman.

And according to statistics found at www.childfreebychoice.com, one in six American women, or approximately 34.9 million families, were childless in 1993 (an increase from one in 11 women in 1975).

For most folks, it's unlikely that patriotic arguments ("Canadians conceive -- your country needs you!") or government-sponsored incentives to procreate at a more frenetic pace will change their decision to remain child-free.

While a minority of people choose to remain childless for grandiose ideals such as saving the planet from further destruction caused by overpopulation, the majority of the "me generation" shun children for more personal reasons.

Career, travel or romantic partners may take precedence. Or on a basic mundane level, dinner and a movie may sound much more exciting than bath and story time.

Call it selfishness if you want. But in a world where community interests take a backseat to individual freedom of choice, most people view the decision whether to procreate as a strictly individual one that is none of society at large's business.

Sometimes, though, society has to butt in where it isn't wanted. In addition to world population concerns, low birthrates may have other significant impacts of a global nature.

For instance, according to a 2004 study conducted by Douglas Downey, a professor at Ohio State University, children without siblings run an increased risk of developing poor social and conflict resolution skills.

The study of 20,000 kindergarten children showed that only children were less able to "form and maintain friendships, get along with people who are different, comfort and help other children, express feelings in a positive way, and show sensitivity to the feelings of others."

Couple poor social skills and a lack of built-in human contact with society's unprecedented reliance on electronic communication and companionship, and the global nation is hurtling down a path of disconnectedness never before experienced.

It's time to bring a sense of community back to the human race.

The first step might be to bring sexy back to the Japanese.

What Would You Do?

2007-03-13T20:19:00.000-05:00

And before you jump to any conclusions, I am not referring to my own personal situation. I'm merely asking a question because I'm curious to get your responses.

What would you do if you really wanted a child, but your partner didn't. Would you leave them to find a partner who did want kids? Or would you stay with them and accept that you would be childless? In other words, would you choose the love you do have with your partner, or the possibility of love you might have with your future children?

Character

2007-03-12T19:15:00.000-05:00

Update: For instance, can a person be careful and impulsive at the same time? If anything, I was extremely careful up until I hit 20, at which point I made the shift to impulsive. But do we need to be one extreme or the other? If so, I think I choose careful. Impulsive gets a person into trouble. Frankly, I think the best advice I have ever heard is to count to 10 before you speak or act. I need to remember that more often.

On the flip side, there is such a thing as being too careful. The worst advice I have ever gotten was to hold in feelings, not to talk about certain events, to be too private. Sometimes it's good - and necessary - to share.
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Does every person go through a period in their life (likely late teens/early twenties) when they are trying to define themselves as an adult and do things that may be viewed as completely out of character for them? I know I did (primarily in terms of who I dated and how I behaved in relationships). But that's normal, right?

Or maybe it's not. Maybe it's a mistake to try to define ourselves and our character rigidly, so that departing from a normal course of behaviour is viewed as acting "out of character". Perhaps we're constantly evolving, and what may have seemed "out of character" a day, a week, or a month ago may be perfectly normal in the present. So we're always "in character", because our character is constantly developing.

What have you done that's been completely out of character for you? And are you glad you did it, or was it a growing pain you wish you could take back?

Travel Bug

2007-03-11T14:51:00.000-05:00

I am going to start buying lottery tickets again. Because every spring, the travel bug overtakes me and I feel an overwhelming need to get away.

I've been very fortunate to have travelled as much as I have in the past few years.

In 2001 and 2002, I went to Europe (once in 2001, and twice in 2002 - in all, I've been to England, France, The Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Italy, Monaco, Spain).

Spring of 2003 was a write-off, but I did manage a week at Lake of the Woods in the fall.

In 2004, I went to Calgary/Kelowna/Vancouver, and Chicago.

In 2005, I went to Japan (primarily Osaka, Kyoto, Tokyo).

Spring of 2006 was Las Vegas and Calgary/Grande Prairie, and fall of 2006 featured Kelowna/Vancouver.

And this year, in addition to hopefully spending some time on the west coast visiting my boyfriend's father, there are two special trips I really want to take.

It is my mother's 60th birthday in November and my sister's 30th birthday in June. So, I am helping send my mom to Europe (possibly Italy and Greece) with a friend. I've never been to Greece, so if time and money allow, I'd love to join them there for a week. And I am taking my sister to either Chicago or New York for a week.

Sounds crazy, I know. But it's spring, and the travel bug has bitten hard.

Reflections

2007-03-11T14:39:00.000-05:00

My dad dropped by unannounced this weekend. Which is no small feat, given that he lives in Kelowna. I've already gone through my feelings on calling first with him (what if we had been out of town, busy, sick, etc.), so I'm not going to rehash that here. The important thing is that we had a really nice visit, and I was really glad to see him, even if for the briefest of moments.

His visit got me thinking about some good childhood memories.

When I was 3 or 4, I would watch Sesame Street every day (it was on from 11 till noon) and wait for my dad to get home from school so we could eat lunch (usually soup and sandwiches) together. It was a very special part of my day.

Sesame Street then triggered the memory of the show that was on the tv when we first got our cable turned on - Mr. Rogers Neighbourhood. My sister's boyfriend's last name is Neighbour. I'm a dork, but I've always thought that if he ever proposed to her, he should do it by singing the Mr. Rogers theme song..."it's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, a beautiful day for a neighbour, would you be mine? could you be mine?" (Kelly, if you're reading this, I'm telling you - it's gold!!).

But I digress. I also remember my dad tucking me in for bed and telling me stories...he had a neat way of doing it, as each story would involve a character moving from place to place (the farmer driving his tractor was a popular one), and he would trace out their movements on my hand.

I remember trips home from Elphinstone and Sandy Lake (visiting my grandparents) in the dark, and we would all sing songs in the car. The only Ukrainian I know are some of the folk songs that my dad taught us during those drives.

I remember evenings downstairs in front of the fireplace my parents built out of stone, eating pizza buns and watching cartoons (these memories are especially vivid around Christmastime, and the cartoon was usually The Grinch or Charlie Brown). One evening that particularly stands out is the Christmas Eve I got a Barbie bubble bath (it blew real bubbles) and played with it in front of the fireplace for hours, waiting for Santa to come.

And there are many more memories like that. It amazes me that I can remember many instances in my childhood quite vividly, but seem to have blocked out most of junior high and high school. Is that normal?

To Procreate or Not to Procreate

2007-03-07T18:39:00.000-06:00

Today's offering...
____________________________________________________________

There are two types of people in this world. Those who have children, and those who don’t.

And radicals of both camps believe the decision whether or not to reproduce is so critical that the very existence of our planet may depend on it.

If anyone would have predicted five years ago that former U.S. vice-president Al Gore would be an Oscar winner, I would have called that person crazy. But the state of the environment is the issue at the top of everyone’s minds these days, from politicians to opinion columnists to Hollywood celebrities.

We’ve all heard the buzzwords — global warming, climate change, the Kyoto Protocol. The future of the planet is a serious issue. But if human beings really want to solve the Earth’s environmental crises, there’s no need to call in the likes of Al Gore or David Suzuki.

According to the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, all we need to do to save the planet is stop having children.

Their website, www.vhemt.org, states “when every human chooses to stop breeding, Earth’s biosphere will be allowed to return to its former glory, and all remaining creatures will be free to live, die, evolve (if they believe in evolution), and will perhaps pass away, as so many of Nature’s ‘experiments’ have done throughout the eons.”

For anyone who’s seen the futuristic movie Children of Men, where mankind is on the verge of extinction as a result of a reproductive drought, these words are likely sending a shiver up your spine.

A world without babies? To quote the movie’s trailer, “No children, no future, no hope.”

So what’s a poor woman to do? Stay barren and save the planet? Or go forth and multiply, and save the human race?

Kids definitely aren’t for everybody.

Birthrates are falling at an alarming rate in Canada, Japan, Australia and Europe, and statistics show that increasingly more women are making the conscious choice not to have children.

In the U.S., a 1995 National Centre of Health survey listed 4.1 million women as voluntarily childless, an increase of 4.2% since 1982.

The task of parenting is not for the faint of heart, the short of attention span, or the chronically uninterested.

To the utter disgust of my parents’ generation, some young couples prize their careers more than having a child. Some would rather spend their hard-earned money travelling the world than buying diapers.

And still others place more value on maintaining an unencumbered romantic relationship with the love of their life than adding a not-so-joyful little bundle into the mix.

But having children (or not) is a personal choice. It takes a selfless person to decide they would rather not have children at all than subject those children to a parent who is unable or unwilling to give them the time, attention and love they deserve.

So if a man or woman recognizes his or her limitations and decides they are not up to the challenge of raising youngsters, society has no right to criticize or make them feel less-than.

For all you know they might be saving the planet.

So Much To Catch Up On

2007-03-07T18:27:00.000-06:00

Again, I've been neglectful in my blogging, and for that I apologize. But I discovered Facebook, and that has been monopolizing my computer time of late. To sum up:

(1) Van Morrison was amazing! He played for exactly an hour and a half (per contractual obligations, so I hear) and put on one heck of a great show! He did all the old favourites (except my longtime favourite, Real Real Gone) and the crowd, though small, was certainly a knowledgable and appreciative one. The entire ensemble was seamless, and his band consisted of some fine musicians (especially the trumpet player). Only negative part of the evening was the fact that I ended up going alone...my boyfriend was trying to get out of work in time to go, but didn't end up making it (which was really too bad, as he's a huge Van fan and would have been in his glory). C'est la vie, I suppose.

(2) My work colleagues and I took an after-work field trip last evening to see The Number 23. Despite the hype, it was not a great movie. I was not on the edge of my seat, I found the plot difficult to follow (though that could have been because I stopped paying attention after awhile), and I am not a big Jim Carrey fan. BUT if you go to the Polo Park theatre on a Tuesday night, you get a free drink and popcorn. So it wasn't a total loss.

(3) My friend Liz and I are going to Ten Spa this weekend for manicures/pedicures. I'm quite excited, as I've heard great things about Ten and am really looking forward to a little pampering. Has anyone tried the hammam?? I'm curious to know what exactly it entails...

That's it for now (I'm in the process of scanning some old pictures to complete some photo albums I'm putting together, and need to focus) but I'll be back!!

Depressing Thought

2007-02-28T07:16:00.000-06:00

I have paid approximately $65,000 in rent over the past 13.5 years, and have absolutely nothing to show for it (other than 7 addresses at 7 different apartments owned by other people, that is).

Downfall of the Jackholes

2007-02-25T09:52:00.000-06:00

My evening in a nutshell...

Went to start the car to pick up my friend Liz so we could head out to Seven Oaks for trivia night, but the car wouldn't start. In theory, it could be the battery, though I'm speculating that whatever electrical problems affected the radio have now moved on to the entire car. They taught us in law school never to buy an extended warranty (waste of money, as the courts would allow for a 'reasonable' warranty period, taking into account the nature of the item). However, at times like these, I'm glad I have it....

Got to the trivia night, had a great time! Four of the eight Jackholes won door prizes (me being one of them), so it was a successful evening in that respect. After the first round of the round robin, we were tied for first place. After the second round of the round robin, we were tied for second place (one point behind the leaders). The last question is one of those ones with multiple clues...if you answer correctly after the first clue, you get 40 points...after the second clue, 20 points...etc. So we decided we needed to go for it...and failed miserably on the following question (I'm curious to see how many of you actually know the answer WITHOUT
GOOGLING!!!):

Who was born Roberta Anderson on November 7, 1943 in Fort McLeod, Alberta?

After trivia, we ended up at the Mardi Gras party at the Convention Centre for awhile. I ended up buying a rainbow feather boa, that I'm sure will come in handy some day for something (though I have no idea what at this point in time). Next year, I propose a road trip to the real thing in New Orleans!!

To Be a Kid Again

2007-02-24T11:23:00.000-06:00

I always used to think that if time travel were realistic, I'd choose some fantastic period in history to visit (or even just an interesting period, such as Vegas in the 40's). But lately, I've been thinking that if I really could go back in time, I'd go back to being 8 years old in Grade 3 (circa 1983/84).

That was the last real year of innocence for me. It was the last year I was still a really cute kid (the following year, I got glasses and began the gawky adolescent stage). It was the year we had a teacher who was so inspiring my over-achiever friends and I cried when we didn't fail a grade. It was the year a boy I had a crush on (Jamie Verboom) showed me he liked me by giving me a polished rock he found on the playground.

It was before my family started breaking up, before I turned into a shy loner who didn't fit in with all the popular kids, before I felt intense parental pressure to be the absolute best at everything I did.

I realize I likely couldn't change the direction of many events that happened in my life, but if I could go back to my childhood with the knowledge I have today, I believe I would have more self-confidence, a more outgoing nature, and the knowledge that being a smart kid doesn't mean you're a geek. And who knows how life would have turned out differently?

Thoughts for the Day

2007-02-21T20:03:00.000-06:00

(1) Not having a car radio sucks. I had to go out at lunch today. The radio worked on the way to my destination, but has not worked ever since. I have now resorted to singing at the top of my lungs instead. Song of choice? Chantal Kreviazuk's "All I Can Do":

All I can do is love you to pieces
Give you a shoulder to cry when you need it
When the day is long
And the night is closing in on you
All I can do
All I can do
All I can do is all that I can do

(2) Thanks to my three best girlfriends (Lisa, Liz, Candice) for always being there for me through good times and bad...honesty, loyalty, intelligence, sense of humour...you guys are great people, and truly do have it all! There was a time in the not-so-distant past when it seemed like every girlfriend I had was getting married, then having babies, and I was far from doing either - I felt like the proverbial single old maid. In fact, I couldn't have felt more like a third wheel, so I chose to avoid my girlfriends (who I didn't feel I could relate to anymore) in favour of hanging out with the guys. But I did finally get over my ridiculous "poor me" sensitivity and couldn't be more thankful to have amazing girlfriends such as Lisa, Liz and Candice in my life!

(3) Can you name three public figures you admire? My list would include: (i) Brian/Mila Mulroney (for being the Canadian 'first couple' during my childhood years, and sparking my first interest in politics); (ii) Rosemary Vodrey (for being the political mentor of my young adulthood, and my 'Winnipeg Mom'); (iii) Harry Lehotsky (for his untiring commitment to making Winnipeg's west end a better, safer place).

(4) How about three public figures you wish you never had to hear about again? My list would include: (i) Britney Spears; (ii) Anna Nicole Smith; (iii) Brangelina. Yes, all celebs. I could add many more honourable mentions, and they'd all be Hollywood-based (TomKat, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie...need I go on?). Celebrity gossip is not news, and I truly do grow weary of it.

To Pose or Not To Pose

2007-02-20T07:37:00.000-06:00

Thoughts? (my primary thought is that my last paragraphs are becoming cliche...this is at least the second time I've used that format - the other being my tattoo column...I need some new material!!)
_____________________________________________________________
Michelle Manhart is a wife, a mother of two and a sergeant in the United States Air Force.

But these days, Manhart is better known for her recent spread in Playboy magazine, where the attractive 30-year-old is shown in a series of pictures ranging from fully clothed in her Air Force uniform to completely nude.

We live in a world where sex and nudity have become the everyday norm. Celebrity sex tapes rule the Internet, Britney Spears' decision to run around town commando set a new fashion trend, and former Playboy bunny and trashy gold digger Anna Nicole Smith is heralded as a North American icon.

So the unknown Manhart's decision to bare-all for Playboy shouldn't even have caused a stir amongst the vast majority of folks. Nothing they haven't seen a million times before.

But Manhart's story made national news when it was learned that her Playboy expose caused her Air Force employers to take disciplinary action, first suspending her while they investigated the matter, then demoting her from sergeant to senior airman.

Oscar Balladares, spokesman for Lackland Air Force Base where Manhart was stationed, said, "This staff sergeant's alleged action does not meet the high standards we expect of our airmen, nor does it comply with the Air Force's core values of integrity, service before self and excellence in all we do."

Manhart's reaction?

"I didn't do anything wrong, so I didn't think it would be a major issue," she said.

Manhart apparently failed to understand that her personal choice had ramifications beyond her own narrow self-interest, choosing instead to adopt a "rules don't apply to me" attitude.

While Manhart might have been completely comfortable with her decision to pose for Playboy, her employer certainly wasn't.

And whether or not Manhart agreed with her employer's rigorous moral standards, she should have been prepared to comply with them as long as she was an Air Force employee.

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, I considered posing as a SUNshine Girl, to write a column about the experience.

I'd read the letters to the editor that trickle in from time to time, some merely bashing the concept and some going so far as to denigrate the girls themselves for what the letter writers viewed as degrading anti-feminist behaviour.

I wanted to tackle the topic but didn't feel I could do it justice unless I'd walked a mile in a SUNshine Girl's shoes. And it wasn't exactly baring all, I rationalized. SUNshine Girls wear bikinis, so I wouldn't be showing anybody more than they could see on a hot summer day at Grand Beach.

But rather than impulsively make the pitch, I took the time to think through all the external consequences that could arise (including potential damage to my professional reputation) and decided the life of a SUNshine Girl just wasn't for me.

Michelle Manhart is correct in one respect. Like it or not, a woman has the right to display her body in its full glory for the world to ogle, be it naked in Playboy or bikini-clad in the pages of her local newspaper.

But before she exercises that right, she should be certain her choice accurately reflects the public image she wants to portray.

After all, a photo shoot is temporary. A pin-up lasts forever.

Best Live Show EVER

2007-02-18T18:54:00.000-06:00

I've always been a mild fan of the Barenaked Ladies music. It's quirky, the lyrics are silly, the tunes are catchy. And after going to the BNL concert on Tuesday night, I've got to say that they put on the best live show I have EVER seen. They engaged the audience, made up songs on the spot, and even demonstrated their awareness of the goings-on in Winnipeg by paying tribute to our fallen firefighters. I would pay to see BNL anytime, anywhere.

On another note, I had no idea Burton Cummings was doing a show for the Burt last night. Was it poorly publicized, or was I just out of the loop? Burton has to be one of my favourite artists, and I try always to see him when he's playing in town. Thumbs down that I wasn't aware of this concert until after the fact.

Last Week's Offering

2007-02-18T18:51:00.000-06:00

Sorry so late on posting this, I had to take a nap!! haha...(this one, by the way, was the feature column on the Canoe website on the day it ran, so I'm quite proud of it!)
_____________________________________________________________

If you're bound and determined to annoy your boss, there are a million ways to be a bad employee. Spread rumours about your co-workers. Show up late for the big presentation. Call in sick when you're really at home watching Jerry Springer re-runs.

But what about catching a few zzzz's at your desk?

There was a time when sleeping at work would have been a fire-able offence.

After all, no employer should shell out his own coin to pay his employees to perform an activity that should take place on the worker's personal time, in the confines of his own home.

Only problem is, some irresponsible employees would rather spend their personal time playing Nintendo until the wee hours of the morning than get the recommended nightly eight hours of shuteye. Many of those same lazy louts then either show up late and slack off during the work day, or don't bother showing up at all.

And it's hurting their employers big time. Recent studies show that tired workers cost the American and Japanese economies a combined $180 billion per year in lost productivity.

So what's an employer to do?

Well, one Chinese company, Shenzhen, provides new employees with a mattress they can store under their desks, in the event a sleepy worker wants to take a nap over the lunch hour.

And hot on the heels of survey results stating 56% of French workers believe that lack of sleep has affected their job performance, the government of France is exploring whether "on the job naps" during the work day would assist in boosting workplace productivity.

"Why not a nap at work? It can't be a taboo subject," French Health Minister Xavier Bertrand opined.

Sounds crazy. But even rocket scientists extol the benefits of catching a few quick winks. A recent NASA study shows that a 26-minute nap can boost productivity by 34%.

Be that as it may, the workplace nap is merely a misguided attempt by employers and governments to boost workplace productivity at the expense of instilling in their workforce an appropriate level of personal responsibility and work ethic.

What are we to expect in a culture where the standard for appropriate workplace behaviour could be taken straight out of the popular NBC sitcom The Office?

It's a funny show, no doubt. And it exposes the viewer to all forms of workplace life -- office parties, office practical jokes, office romances. Everything, that is, except work itself.

Whether art imitates life, or vice versa, it's increasingly the norm for many employees that a full eight-hour day focused on one's job is the exception, not the rule.

There are many self-righteous excuses used to justify this widespread slacking off -- I don't get paid enough, my work isn't appreciated, I'm not being given enough responsibility.

But it's time for employers to stop coddling employees, and time for employees to start taking responsibility for their workplace issues.

If a dissatisfied employee wants a raise, a promotion, or just a thank-you, it's up to them to talk to their boss and make their wishes known.

And if an exhausted employee needs more sleep, it's up to them (not their employers) to schedule their personal time accordingly.

Three Thoughts for Today

2007-02-11T18:35:00.000-06:00

(1) Though I used to roll my eyes at the mere mention of organic food, I've allowed myself to broaden my horizons over the past year, and have realized that not only will I eat organic, I much prefer it. It makes me feel much healthier, and I'm even losing some weight (down to 158 pounds now!!). For the record, yes, I shop in Wolseley at Tall Grass Prairie Bakery and Organic Planet, and in Osborne Village at Organza. Who woulda guessed?

(2) Personal space is extremely important. Maintaining hobbies/interests and friendships is extremely important. Balance in life is extremely important. In fact, balance is key. Taking away balance causes bad things to happen and results in a situation where one doesn't have the skills or supports to cope with those bad things. Balance is key.

(3) DreamGirls is one heck of a fine movie, and Jennifer Hudson has one heck of an amazing voice. Definitely deserving of an Oscar nod. However, although I'm a girl who loves a musical performed on stage, I'm not nuts about the 'movie musical' genre. Song and dance should be viewed live. Period.

Apologies for my Absence

2007-02-03T16:54:00.000-06:00

January has been a really crappy month. I'm usually a little down in January anyhow due to the weather, but this year was even worse as I've been dealing with some personal matters that have monopolized a lot of my time and attention (hence, virtually no blogging and very uninspired column writing).

For a couple of weeks, it really did feel as though my entire life was changing in a very negative fashion, but in recent days I've managed to find the positive in the situation and I'm optimistic that things are about to start getting better for me and the other person/people involved.

On another positive note, we're pulling Team Jackhole back together (a trivia team that a few of my friends and I put together last year) for a couple of competitions in February, and I'm really looking forward both to the trivia and to spending more time with my friends again. I have really been a homebody loner these past couple of months, but it's time to come out of my shell and start participating in social activities again.

If anyone has any tough trivia questions, please post them and I'll circulate to Team Jackhole for practice!

Happy Birthday!

2007-01-26T16:58:00.000-06:00

No, mine came and went on December 27. But here's this week's offering (better late than never...)
____________________________________________________________

When it comes to children’s birthday parties, the mantra of today’s parents might as well be “spare no expense, spoil the child.”

In the olden days (also known as my childhood), I got to invite a handful of friends over on my birthday to eat burgers and homemade birthday cake, open a few presents, and play a game of hide and seek or two.

Good old-fashioned fun, without a lot of planning, stress and effort. Just how a birthday celebration should be, for all parties involved.

But the olden days have long ago passed, and in today’s “gimme, gimme, gimme” world, both parents and children are being socialized to believe that nothing less than a full-fledged birthday extravaganza will do.

So a handful of friends has been replaced by a guest list rivalling that of a small wedding reception, burgers and cake have been replaced by catered buffets, and hide and seek has been replaced by outlandish field trips that resemble mini-holiday getaways.

In fact, children’s birthday parties are quickly becoming one of the most ridiculous forms of the popularity contest and, in our culture of excess, some “image is everything” parents are taking that competition to the extreme.

The website of the Minnesota-based parents’ group Birthdays Without Pressure, which advocates against out-of-control party planning, cites the following examples of kids‚ birthday parties gone haywire:

A one-year-old’s party in a Minnesota community had 60 guests. The gift opening took two hours; the birthday infant slept through most of it.
A six-year-old girl and her friends in St. Paul got makeovers and danced in public as part of a “starlet” package at a party business.
A six-year-old guest, who was disappointed by a St. Paul party without gift bags, declared, “This is a ripoff!”
Seven-year-olds in rural Minnesota got picked up by stretch limos to transport them to a friend’s party.
A Minneapolis mother switched away from a pirate theme for her nine-year-old’s party because another parent recently used the same theme.
A New York dad threw a $10-million party for his 13-year-old daughter’s birthday that included the band Aerosmith and $10,000 gift bags.

These parents were likely the heroes of the neighbourhood (until they were one-upped at the next birthday party, that is).

But they also made a negative contribution to the materialistic culture being instilled in today’s youngsters at every turn, and set themselves up for a great deal of stress and anxiety when the day comes that they are finally unable to out-do the Joneses.

No parent wants spoiled, demanding children. And no parent wants to focus on fulfilling their child’s material desires at the expense of their emotional needs.

So parents should take a page from the Birthdays Without Pressure philosophy and return to the basic notion that a child’s birthday party is to celebrate the wonderful occasion of the birth of the child.

Good times with family and friends should come first, extravagant presents and theme-related entertainment should come a distant second.

After all, the lion tamer and trapeze artist will be forgotten in a heartbeat. But relationships with friends and family members will last forever.

What's In a Name?

2007-01-16T07:41:00.000-06:00

Today's offering...
____________________________________________________________

It's the age-old question ... what's in a surname?

In not-so-ancient times, the practice of a bride taking the surname of her husband upon marriage represented her status as his property.

But the offensive and antiquated concept of wives as chattels has gone the way of the dodo in North America, and increasingly more soon-to-be-married women are fighting hard to retain their independence and preserve the pre-marriage identity they worked since birth to build.

A 2003 survey conducted by Wedding Bells magazine found that 18% of Canadian brides and 6% of American brides had chosen to proudly keep their maiden names, and there wasn't a darn thing their new hubbies could do about it.

In fact, while some insecure lunkheads may view their lady's choice as a personal slight to their manhood, others are not only willing to embrace their wives' quest for independence but are even willing to reverse roles for the sake of family harmony.

Though not the traditional path chosen by most soon-to-be married couples, California native Michael Buday's fiancee, Diana Bijon, asked the groom to take the bride's last name when the pair eventually married.

Given that Bijon had no brothers, and the non-traditional name change would allow the Bijon family name to be carried on, Buday agreed it would be a fitting tribute to his future wife's family.

Had he been a woman, Buday would merely have checked the appropriate box on the marriage licence application, paid the maximum $100 county application fee, and become Mrs. Diana Bijon.

But Buday quickly found out that California's marriage licence application, like that of 43 other U.S. states, is so out of date that it has no box to check for a groom who wants to take his bride's name.

Instead Buday, or any poor emasculated California man whose wife has actually talked him into giving up a key part of his identity as a male, must first pay a $320 court fee, advertise his intentions in a newspaper for four weeks, and obtain a judge's consent.

The California process is currently being challenged by the ACLU on the basis of gender discrimination.

On a more basic level, however, in a world where men are taking their female partner's surname, family members are hyphenating the father's and mother's names, or families are inventing completely unique new surnames, has the pendulum swung too far away from tradition in favour of individual rights?

Personally, I'm all for a wife taking her husband's surname. Especially when that wife has a long, convoluted maiden name that earned her the high school nickname "Boiled Cabbage."

Ever since preschool, when I struggled to learn how to spell BORYSKAVICH and my playmates struggled to pronounce it, I knew that the one quality my future groom must have was a simple, straightforward last name.

Indeed, I used to base my whole dating strategy around it.

The question was not whether I would change my surname when I got married, it was what easily-pronounceable moniker I would change it to.

I'm a traditionalist. Michael Buday and Diana Bijon are not. But we each have the free will to make our own decisions regarding our family surname and that's what really counts.

After all, once the groom has determined that his rose would smell as sweet under any other name, no other person should have the ability to be a thorn in his side.

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday

2007-01-12T08:03:00.000-06:00

In response to a question in the comments section, I wanted to let you all know that as of this week/next week my column is moving to a new regular day, Tuesday.

As usual, I'm always interested in reader thoughts as to topics that interest them, so if there are any suggestions, please feel free to let me know!

Three Thoughts for Today

2007-01-11T07:50:00.000-06:00

(1) Winnipeg was mentioned not once, not twice, but thrice in Desperate Housewives this week(apparently, Orson Hodge's supposedly dead ex-wife was hiding out in Winnipeg in an attempt to frame Orson for her alleged murder). So cool!

(2) Speaking of Orson Hodge, I've gained a new appreciation for Kyle McLachlan as an actor of late. In the past couple of months, we've watched the first season of Twin Peaks (where he played the quirky agent Cooper), re-runs of Sex and the City (where he played Charlotte's quirky husband Trey) and current episodes of Desperate Housewives (where he plays Bree's quirky husband Orson). I've enjoyed every performance. McLachlan does quirky like no other.

(3) Sticking with the TV theme, we also picked up seasons 1 and 2 of The Office (the American version). Great cast, funny show, but Michael Scott (the Steve Carrell character) was so over-the-top annoying that I barely made it past the first two episodes. Thankfully, the show did get a second chance to make a first impression - in more recent episodies, they toned 'Michael' down a little so he complements the rest of the cast (rather than overshadowing them in a negative way). Now, the series is now not only watchable, but must-watch. For those of you who've seen both, I'm curious - would you rather watch the British or the American version??

Confessions of a Shopaholic

2007-01-04T21:48:00.000-06:00

Today's offering...I'm considering attempting 'the Compact' myself for a couple of months (after I finish spending my holiday gift cards, that is!)
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Could you give up shopping for an entire year?

To most women, it sounds like an incredibly sick joke.

But for the 2006 calendar year, a group of 10 San Francisco residents, all middle-class professionals, decided to drastically alter their lifestyles by making a pledge (called "the Compact") to do just that.

Translation?

No malls, no boutiques, no rock bottom sales. No new purses, skirts, CDs, shoes ... in fact, no new luxury items at all.

For those women whose sole goal in life is to own a different pair of Manolo Blahniks for every day of the week, a shopping boycott in the nature of "the Compact" would certainly be a hardship.

But rest assured, the San Francisco experiment was not nearly as drastic as it sounds.

Unlike some "freegan" communities, where even the basic necessities of life are gleaned by rummaging through dumpsters, parties to "the Compact" were permitted to purchase essential items such as food, toiletries and other "health and safety"-related products.

"Compact" member John Perry says the goal of the San Francisco experiment was to make its participants "aware of the excesses of consumer culture and the fact we are drawing down our resources and making people miserable around the world."

While not everyone has Perry's social conscience or shares his world view, it's important to be cognizant of the personal consequences of our consumer choices and the very real pitfalls today's "status means everything" society can present.

When my sister moved to a northern Alberta oil community two years ago, she was astounded by the nonchalant manner in which some of the area residents threw their money around.

Purchasing rounds of drinks at the local watering hole for friends and strangers alike, buying big-screen television sets that covered entire walls of their brand new homes and driving the biggest and shiniest trucks that Ford or GM had to offer was the norm, not the exception.

And considering in 2001, 47% of Canadian households were spending more than they earned, having eyes bigger than our wallets is not a problem limited to oil country.

No matter where one resides, the pressure to keep up with the Joneses is intense and, driven by "status symbol" competition more intense than any playground rivalry, the fine line between "want" and "need" has become increasingly blurred.

These days, not only do children "need" the same designer labels that their friends are sporting, their parents "need" to demonstrate their place in the adult hierarchy by taking the same vacations and playing with the same adult toys of which their grown-up buddies brag.

It's an expensive (not to mention dangerous) game.

Not many folks have the cash to live the high life of the Joneses. But it's easy to get credit ... and even easier to max it out. Not so easy to claw one's way back from the precipice of bankruptcy, though.

While "the Compact" may not be for everyone, it does force those who subscribe to its philosophy to determine which consumer items are essential for them to live a simplistic, happy life within their financial means and which are merely excess.

And if, as the Rolling Stones say, we can't always get what we want, then it's important to define the full extent of our genuine needs.

My Age is Showing

2007-01-03T17:35:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I took a one-day course in website design about a decade ago, and thought I could use some of my 'skills' to revamp the blog. Needless to say (given that the site hasn't changed one bit) that didn't work so well, as I can no longer decipher what inputting the codes on the sheets of paper I retained will result in. So bear with me, the website upgrade may require some third party assistance.

On another note, does 'party' for the over 30 crowd actually mean book club or games night? I realized last weekend that those two events are the closest I've been to a really good shaker in awhile...not sure whether that makes me old, or just lame, but either way, it made me think of this column of mine that ran on December 8, 2005.
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They say 30 is the new 20, but these days, this 30 year old is starting to relate more to her mother’s generation.

I’ve been trying to pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but I still haven’t managed to figure out when I suddenly got old.

The first real indication that something had changed was a frightening moment either at the mall, or perhaps dropping my sister off at university, when I heard myself utter words that had previously only come out of my mother’s mouth – “I just don’t understand kids these days”.

Yes, I said it. And once the proverbial cat was out of the bag, the remaining remnants of my youth began to quickly slip away, one by one.

When I was in university and working a part time job on weekends, I used to pride myself in the fact that I could go out with my friends on a Friday night until 5 or 6 am, and then be up bright-eyed for an 8:30 work shift on Saturday morning. But alas, my stamina was the first thing to go.

While in Osaka this spring, some fellow foreigners and I decided to pull an all-nighter in the clubs. Sounded like great fun, until we hit midnight, and I hit a wall. While I managed to drag myself through the evening, it took the entire next day of all-out napping to recuperate.

And though I’d like to chalk that experience up to being slightly under the weather, recent weekends have proven that the pressures of adulthood really do take their toll on an aging body.

Just this past Friday, in fact, one of my best girlfriends and I yawned our way through dinner, then scrapped plans to sit around and chat over a bottle of wine, in favour of “getting to bed at a decent hour”.

Next to disappear was my patience. Admittedly, I didn’t receive much to start out with, but my limited supply appears to be dwindling with each passing year. Two of my most common hot button issues in this regard are line-ups and crowds – just ask my sister how much fun I am to shop with at Wal-Mart or Superstore. And really, what part of the 15 item limit in express lines do people not get? But I digress…

I no longer feel the need to wear short skirts and high heels when I am headed out for a night on the town in minus 40 degree weather – I’m not really sure who I used to think I was impressing with such foolhardy behaviour. Heck, these days I don’t even feel the need to leave my house in minus 40 degree weather, other than to go to work.

And when I recently uttered the phrase “I think I’m too old for this” following the second spilled drink (one on my coffee table, one on my carpet) by a party guest at my home, I realized that my days of hosting anything other than the occasional BBQ or holiday bash are likely drawing to a close.

So does this mean that I’m boring, or that I’ve lost my sense of fun now that the first number in my age begins with a “3”?

I suppose it’s all subjective, but in my opinion, I’m every bit as interesting as every other thirty-something I know. It’s just that one’s definition of “fun” changes as we age – keg parties are replaced by dinner parties, loud music is replaced by intimate conversation, a night on the town is replaced by a night at the movies.

Boring? Maybe. But despite the occasional wistful memory of good times had during the last decade, I wouldn’t relive my 20’s for all the money in the world.

New Year's Resolutions

2006-12-31T09:00:00.000-06:00

We all make the standard resolutions about losing weight / exercising more (I resolve to renew my membership at the gym and actually go at least twice a week, in an effort to drop the remaining 10-15 pounds), and the standard resolutions about job / personal aspirations (I resolve to complete a literary project I've been working on for the better part of six months now).

But very few us us make resolutions to accomplish something that would make the world a better place or help our fellow human beings. So this year, in an effort to do just that, I resolve to become a regular volunteer for Winnipeg Harvest.

What are your resolutions (personal, humanitarian, or otherwise) for 2007?

Don't Worry, Be Happy

2006-12-28T08:08:00.000-06:00

Folks, I am not disappearing from the blogosphere. I am just taking a bit of time to turn the site into something a little more upscale than the standard blogger template, and something a little more interesting than a glorified on-line diary.

In the meantime, here's today's column for your perusal - thoughts?
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Life is so much easier for beautiful women.

Take your best-looking girlfriend out for an evening on the town and you'll see what I mean.

Get her to flash her pearly whites and lineups will disappear, free drinks will materialize and the cool guys will fall all over themselves to get close enough to say hello to her.

It's a sad fact of our materialistic, image-oriented world. Good looks may not be everything, but they certainly grease the wheels for those lucky enough to have them.

Take Miss USA 2006, Tara Conner. Amid allegations of wild partying, underage drinking and substance abuse, speculation abounded as to whether Conner would be the latest victim of the now infamous Trump trademark, "You're fired."

But Donald Trump, who co-owns the Miss USA pageant, must have been heavily into the eggnog this holiday season himself, letting the blonde bombshell off with a slap on the wrist and a trip to rehab.

After all, "The Donald" reasoned, "I've always been a believer in second chances. Tara is a good person. Tara has tried hard. Tara is going to be given a second chance."

Um, Donald ... from all reports, the only thing Tara did hard is party. But hey, she is cute, and she did cry. Enough to melt any man's heart, I suppose.

But even good looks don't always prevail. While Conner escaped her misadventures with a new lease on life, Miss Nevada, Katie Rees, wasn't as lucky.

Following the Conner incident, Rees was forced to give up her crown after "racy pictures" of the Girls Gone Wild wannabe appeared on the Internet. So far, her pleas for a second chance a la Conner have gone unheeded.

As they say, timing is everything. Rees is every bit as pretty as Conner. But unfortunately, her escapades came to light in the immediate wake of the Conner incident and undoubtedly even "The Donald" couldn't overlook the same mistake twice.

No sense in crying foul over the inconsistent consequences. In reality, neither of these fallen heroes should be serving as a role model for young women.

According to the official Miss USA website, pageant winners are supposed to be "savvy, goal-oriented and aware ... (they) display those characteristics in their everyday lives, both as individuals, who compete with the hope of advancing their careers, personal and humanitarian goals, and as women who seek to improve the lives of others."

But the behaviour exhibited by Conner and Rees was more fitting of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears than future leaders of tomorrow. Certainly not role models I'd want anywhere near my children.

In fact, the very notion that a person can attain role model status by winning a pageant set up primarily to judge external beauty further highlights how twisted societal values have become.

The Miss USA website states that "currently, Miss USA is experiencing a rebirth, playing a critical role in making the next 100 years 'The Century of Women'."

If the brains behind the pageant really want to advance the cause of women, they would cut out the swimsuit and evening gown competitions and throw in a Jeopardy challenge instead. That way, even "ugly Bettys" like myself might have a shot.

After all, most women don't have the looks of a Tara Conner or a Katie Rees. But many have inner beauty, intelligence, maturity and wisdom that far outweigh external features that will fade over time.

And those internal characteristics are the qualities a true role model is made of.

New Format

2006-12-27T08:52:00.000-06:00

Much like "the Hack", I'm taking some time to revamp the format and look of the blog, and will bring in the new edition in the New Year! Hope everyone is having a great holiday season, and I look forward to chatting with you soon!